Give Your Kids One Big Apology for Ruining Their Lives and Move On

Parents don’t get enough credit for the love they give their children.

Photo by Bermix Studio on Unsplash

I fiercely loved my children as they grew up. Did I get mad at them? Sure. Did they annoy me at times? Sure. Did I make a million mistakes I can’t change or take back? You bet I did!! But that was in the past. Why can’t they let it go?

It seems the world wants us to blame everything on our parents. That way, no one has to feel responsible for their negative actions. How fair is that? We aren’t perfect, and we have bad days and stress and pain and can’t always be what our children wish we were. I can’t remember many of the things I did that must have scarred my children to make them behave the way they sometimes do as adults.

However, I focus on the cool and positive things they do because I’ve been around the block. I know better. Mistakes will be made. Hurt will follow. Forgive and forget and repair that bond. There is nothing like the love between parents and their children. Some are much better than others. These are not blanket statements because we are all different, and I know a couple of people who absolutely hate one or the other of their parents, or both. Some parents abuse their children, and I realize this article is not for those monsters. But what of those of us who loved as best we could, provided the best we could, worked, and still made time to go to their games and concerts and be there for reassurance and encouragement? Why do we get blamed for those children's downfalls? Not just by them, but the world seems to encourage this too. There are countless articles, books, and websites dealing with this. Some are pro, and some are cons. Here's one book that gives positive advice:

Forgiving Our Parents, Forgiving Ourselves: The Definitive Guide. Dr. David Stoop

We all need to remember that several years before we even had a memory, our parents nurtured and loved us and kept us alive. When I look at old pictures of my mom and dad, I realize how much they loved me, even though I didn’t always think that way. I’m no different than my own children. I blamed a few things on my parents at one time too. They were mistakes with decisions that I took the brunt of. Nothing was going to change…