Hi Loren. I truly understand since I have a first hand situation with an obese person. My own daughter. She is 5’9” and weighs a little over 300 pounds. She took after her dad. I am naturally an average size and always have been. There are times when I know she has resented me for that. We played as partners on a doubles team and I did all the running around and she hit the ball with her powerful arm. We made a good pair but we would always hear the comment “that’s your mom”?
That would irritate her.She also has diabetes. She’s a vegan. I watch her eat sugary frosted cupcakes and I say nothing. Sugar is vegan.She will go months without speaking to me if I offend her. But I know she needs me.
So, I realize how you feel. Perhaps just let her children discuss it with her. You need to stay her friend.She is going to need you in the future.
I did not mean to offend. Your story just brought out the indignation in me and protection of my daughter.