I am not surprised at how you take charge and handle situations, even though they are taking a toll on you inside. Lisa, I wish I could help. We did this dance with my mom, but my sister and I had each other. My thoughts and prayers are with you. As for the Christmas plans...I am doing the same crap. One kid won't be here if another one is; this one can't come until six, and this one can't, or won't, come at all. It's called "Jumping through hoops," and people like us do it out of love. Love is a verb.