I am still in the throes of this, Martha, and I feel actual HATE. He is living a lie just to prove he thinks he had a right to leave me. She is Plan B and I will always be Plan A. I thought she had more dignity and integrity than to settle for that. But, she wants a man and he's her only option. However, I was never taking him back, so he went the path of least resistance. It still hurts so much. But, I am strong. I have "enjoyed" (not to sound mean) reading your path to where you are now. It helped me at times to not feel so shitty!