I can say, Colleen, that a fracture may heal, but it leaves a scar, a mark. Everything that happens in our lives mixes to make us who we are, and that includes the hurts. It's been nine years since I have tried to "unfracture" my family. I have four children, and one is disrespectful, rude, and hateful to me and one of her sisters. It's complicated, but she is very unhappy and feels stuck. She is carrying hurts that did not hit her until now that she's 45. At one time, we were the closest. We traveled together and were tennis team partners. I was at every parent's weekend at her college. I could make a huge collage of the pictures of her and me together over the years. But now I am the enemy, and I am not even sure why. You know as well as I do when we are stuck in life, it's up to us to wallow in that state or put forth the effort to change our lives. Our children have no choice but to come along with us, and as much as we like to spare them, they will change, too. We hope for the better, but some go the opposite direction. I hope and pray that her life and heart will return to the fold, but in the meantime, I, like you, stay away and don't force myself into her world. Her birthday is today. I took a gift to her house yesterday and left it with her husband, who is a wonderful man. I will never hear from her whether she likes it or not. We can't beat ourselves up over these changes in our children. We did our best, and life is not all rainbows and unicorns. We all find that out. I can feel your sadness, which is often devastating because we can't understand it. I pray for that child to see how much I love her. You are not alone; there is no shame in what is happening. It was good you wrote about it because it probably helped many other parents.