I did this too. Besides making it worse for my daughter with a substance use problem and enabling her it caused me to neglect the needs of my other 3 children let alone my husband. It hurts everyone in the family. One of my daughters, who excelled in just about everything, could not understand why the one being “bad” got so much of my attention. My reasoning? I was going to “fix her”. It’s been over 28 years now. Almost your sons whole lifetime. My “fixing” never worked for long. She’s in recovery again and my relationship with the daughter who did most everything right is strained. The oldest is 48 now. The other one is 42. I beat myself up a lot. Love your other children like crazy. I’m not saying the sick one should be cast out. Most mothers could never do that. But stop trying to save him when it will only teach him he has your number. Go to Al Anon. It makes a difference.