I didn't want to be a mom but was forced into it by my parents after I got drunk on prom night and got pregnant. One time and I'm pregnant? And I don't even think he got it in! So they wanted a baby grandchild and at 18 I had to get married and have a baby. After that it didn't matter because once a mom always a mom. May as well have 10 kids. You are still there for life. I feel for you.