I do over glorify the good times in my marriage. I believe if I was meant to be with my ex the 6 years post divorce that he wanted so badly to reunite (yet still drank, attempted suicide that ended up in a long recovery, and got 2 more DUIs) I would have remarried him. He even arranged counseling for us. When the counselor asked me how I felt about getting back together I told him I had a fear my ex won’t stay sober and I didn’t trust him. He said why are you here, you just answered your own question! But we still went on 6 more months before he walked out one day and my son told me his dad had a serious relationship. All along! He tricked me then said goodbye after 36 years in a TEXT! Then came back to me 3 months later saying she was too different from him and he still wanted to be with me and I welcomed him back with open arms. What a fool! Right away I noticed a difference and shortly realized he was drinking again. A month later and DUI #4…a felony in the state of Ohio. And I still felt I loved him! He went to jail for 6 months and when he got out he was jobless, broke, inundated with fines and debts, no drivers license for 5 years and his girlfriend (who told me she was his fiancé) took him in and so she won’t feel ashamed, (because God does not condone living together…they are both bible thumpers 😂) she charges him for renting a room from her.
Are your eyes rolling at what an idiot I seem? My take is he aged very poorly. Drinking did not help. He’s partially bald, always has stubble on his face, he’s short 5’6” and weighs 140 pounds. And smokes. This along with his financial picture etc does not make him desirable to other woman. This woman he’s with came to or wedding 36 years ago. She’s been around and she thought she knew him. I hear she was shocked at all he kept from her. Duh! My take is he grabbed up the first woman who showed him attention besides me. Now she’s stuck with being his only friend. Our kids have rejected him for many reasons but I stay out of their business. We never discuss him. Why am I still so connected to him? My memories of the good times and forgetting the bad. I want to move into life right NOW and as you say, let the floodgates of red flags, lies, and betrayals wise me up.
I’ve met a guy exactly like the guy I’ve prayed for. Exactly the guy I told my ex I was waiting for.
So what’s my problem?
Jeez sorry this is so long. Are you a therapist? You have a way with your wisdom and analogies. Or maybe personal experience? But thanks for commenting 😊