I felt the same treatment. My family didn’t step up to help me at all. They treated me like a big failure and actually did more for my ex who rarely saw his kids. Eventually I chalked it up to they just don’t really love me. If they could “punish” me for being divorced and become part of the problem instead of the solution then what would anyone call it? Toxic. Exactly as you’ve said. I hope all is better for you now and I believe you did the right thing. I wrote an article about how my kids were treated as “less than” by my family after my divorce. It still hurts me to this day because they never understood what was happening and I taught them to respect those people. My mistake. (Another one.)