I have traveled along a lot of this journey with you, Martha. Your writing eats at the very soul of many women and men. When marriages end, there are hurts all around. But when a 3rd party enters the picture, there will be a lot more pain., It's bound to happen, but it is different when it occurs before the marriage ends. My friend's husband moved in with another girl, (they met on Match.com while both were married) had a baby with her, and none of them were divorced. Unscrupulous betrayal. Talk about a mess. My heart aches for you even as mine aches with loss. Keep writing. You are cathartic in your honesty.