I try to see my ex like that, and I know I felt that way just a few months ago when I was with him, but today I miss him like crazy, as if he was the young man I met and fell in love with and was so very happy with back in the '80s. Why can't I see the bad parts? I need to face that he's "moved on, to heal," as he put it. I keep trying to find his mug shots online to remind me of what he did to break up our marriage, but instead, I get the blame for divorcing him (from our son), and I am now getting "what I deserve" for having broken his heart. I am miserable.