I was on the other end, Ruby. I thought we had the perfect family and felt sorry for my friends who lived in small houses and got swats! Now, I know that's not true and we were not perfect but my parents perpetuated that. Any wrongdoing on my part was not acknowledged as a problem to help Klara with. It was considered an embarrassment to my parents and had to be taken care of. I know you write about your mom often. It sounds like she was just worn out by the time you became a teen. Not that it's an excuse but I can see where I made those mistakes. My oldest was 16 when my son was born and he was only 4 when she started her drug use. I was a terrible mother after that. He does not say it but the rest of my kids sufferred because of my focus on saving my daughter. I was tired. I wonder if your mom would have spoken more to you about that had she lived longer.