I was sure surprised when the ex who begged to reunite with me suddenly showed up with a fiancé! But, they never told ANYONE. I smelled a rat from the start. Why he used her became evident when he ended up with OVI #4 (a felony offense), and she was there to get his vehicle out of impound for him ($$$), store his stuff so he could go to jail for a year, and pay his car payment while he was in prison. I would not have done that. Sorry, I am not a punching bag. Not without a real commitment that he screwed up by leading a double life and using her while begging me to come back to him. He kept her a secret until he needed her. I told her, with proof, he had been begging me to let him come back (this was my husband of 29 years, not a joke), and she still did his bidding. I hope they marry after he gets out of prison. They deserve each other. He will need her to enable him when he returns to the bottle and gets in trouble again. Thank God I saw the light, and it all came about because of their "secret" engagement. He gave her the wedding ring I put on his finger in 1987, as an engagement ring....is that tacky enough? It still hurts because I loved the man he WAS back then but not the person he became with alcohol abuse.