I watched my husband do this and had to divorce him to save myself. 7 years ago. Oddly he accuses me of breaking his heart but since he was blacked out most of the time he can’t recall hurting me and making me feel unloved all those years ago. They get to not have any recollection of the crappy way they behaved. Alcohol kills and I’m so happy for you that you pulled through. Your little boy is firtinsy