I wish I knew, Ellen. It's been seven years divorced and nine minus love, if you include the last two years of our marriage when disaster struck due to alcohol. I believe the worst is the first 27 years were great. I felt loved, honored, and cared for. Finding that kind of man is rare, in my opinion, but I have found one I have known since I was 12. It's great to know his history. It's always suspicious when you don't know a guy's history at all. I always got burned when I found out a new guy hated his dead wife or had a sexual relationship with someone else....UGH! I believe for a good man to scoop you up. They will be so blessed when they do.