If I let other people's words dictate my life, I honestly would have committed suicide in my 40's. I thought about it a lot. My family talked behind my back, turned my oldest daughter against me, and at one time, in front of my kids, my sister called me a piss poor mother. To this day those words sting. In order to get attention my older daughter had told them my husband hit my girls. Rather than ask me (No way in hell would I stay with a guy that touched my 3 girls!!) they believed her (she was 13) and hated my husband from then on and treated me like crap. I honestly never knew what their problem was because no one told me. And since it was a lie, I never dreamt it could be what she said. Some of the events after that I have written in articles about my daughter, but it was rarely good. She was used as a pawn so much by my parents and sister and I didn't know enough to tell them all to go to hell. I was proud of my husband for being able to ignore it and continue with being a family and helping raise those girls while their father did nothing, although my family adored him.

Anyway, I'll never get the comment out of my head or heart, "piss poor mother."

I still see my sister now and over the years it was all swept under the rug but when my kids aren't perfect now, I remember those words and ask myself if maybe they were true.