I'm not sure I understand. This was my first husband, and we were friends from high school until he died. Sure I was bummed he hurt our daughters, but I don't think I bad-mouthed him. And they loved him anyway. He gained a few hundred pounds from the time I met him until he died, and I'm sure that was hard on his self-esteem. His poor health had him wheelchair-bound and that's hard to take for an ex-athlete like him.

Now maybe you have read about my second husband, who stabbed me in the back last summer. That was the biggest shock of my life. I was regaining trust and respect for him after his DUIs and drinking issues, and almost remarried him. But a little voice in my head kept keeping me from committing to that and if you read about him you can see how I dodged a bullet. And I'm sorry if I badmouthed him but no one here knows him, or me for that matter, so I write openly. He morphed into someone the kids and I don't recognize. And he is very much alive and free to slam me all he wants.