I'm sorry if this seems mean, but I think you are letting her off the hook too easily here. Blaming everything on her BPD is understandable but she was not an idiot. She knows the symptoms of that diagnosis. She chose to hurt you like she did, and there is no getting around that. It was irrational and unfair. How are we supposed to know that, prior to a relationship, we can get dumped in a heartbeat by someone professing to love us? Also, you would have been very sorry if you had to deal with drug addiction, and that just fed the fire of her BPD. I know God has the right woman for you, so keep an open mind. It's her loss in the end. I can't imagine her ever finding a man like you again.