Interesting, Diane. I just saw a counselor last night and he said the same thing. If It's my fault my kids behave the way they do, if I have that much influence, then why don't I have the power to make them behave differently? Good question. I always blame myself for the way they behave and they probably know it and take advantage of me. I'm seeing a counselor with my ex-husband of 5 years. He was a witness to over 30 years of raising those kids and he says I was a great mom!

You make a perfect point because my drug-addicted daughters' 2 children are so kind. 18 and 13, both honor students, polite, respectful. They rarely see their mom and their dads a functioning alcoholic. They have survival instincts. I took care of too many of my kid's problems for them. My kids had it all plus a mom, not on drugs, alcohol, or even cigs. I'm copying and pasting your words and printing them out to look at every day. Thank you.