It sounds like you have a clearer picture of number one, it could be he can learn to listen and be more thoughtful about what you want, but it is something that should ideally be there from the start.

Steffany, you make good points. I'd like to give #1 more of a chance. I am 68, and the pool of men is small so I like to see if he loosens his grip on the pooch a bit. If you can, read the addendum I added to the story today.