It's hard to read how damaged and hurt you are. "No Kidding," you say. Do you realize what you are doing by writing this down and educating a multitude of readers about how horrid a person's life can be? These are stories we all need to read. Amazingly, you can put this nightmare you lived into words. No one wants to hear this stuff in your everyday life. Not family, friends, or, in your case, even therapists. They want fake happiness, cotton candy, and unicorns. On Medium many, many of us are listening to you. Please keep writing. I don't want to say I ENJOY reading about your hurts but I am very interested in what you have to say. I wish you were my daughter.

And, YES, your mother is evil and more than cruel. She is diabolical. You easily could have died when she pulled away.