My Children Should Not Have Had To Suffer Because Their Parents Were Divorced
My own family treated them as inferior.
My children were pretty happy kids in 1984. All three had a lot of friends. They were girls, 12, 7 and 5. They were smart and playful. Yes, dad lived in one place with Grandma G, and mom lived in another place with them, but we all cared about each other. Then, enter MY family. They treated my kids like they were underlings and pathetic and broken. These were the people I had loved and respected all their lives so my kids paid attention to them.
How sad for my children.
Granted, this was 1984. No one in my family got divorced and the ones that did had no children so they were exonerated. Me, I was equivalent to the Wicked Witch of the West. My kids were confused. They saw me as a happy, loving and involved mom. Why were Grandma and Grandpa J being so mean to me? My own parents. Especially when they were seeing dad and grandma G so much more then they used to and they were really loving it.
My family basically turned on me but my husbands family were very supportive. After all, they knew him much better and knew he liked his freedom. He needed his freedom. The reason we were married is anther story for another time. But my own family liked my ex better than me. He was a pretty crappy father but had a great personality. He basked in the glory my family gave him.
But I had custody of my girls. I had to work two jobs. I had to deal with all school functions. I had to miss work when they were ill. If they misbehaved it was my fault. I’m sure you’re getting the picture here. He wasn't even an every other weekend dad. One weekend a month…..maybe. But only if his mom was there so he could still have his freedom. I was really happy they loved their grandma a lot. She WAS a wonderful grandma.
The only chance I could have had was to move away. And to this day I regret not going somewhere, anywhere. I made all the wrong decisions to feed the problem. But I felt I was making the best decision to keep my girls close to their dad and his family.
I continued to raise them to love and respect my parents.