My ex would always say he needed healing—no kidding, bozo. You have 4 DUIs in 7 years. You need a lot of help. But I know I am the one to help him. Whenever we got back in sync, he was happy, productive, and NOT DRINKING! Finally, I decided to put effort into him because he was doing so well. Then, wham. He decides he has a girlfriend. Can she heal him? NOPE. He loses his job, gets another DUI and she had no idea he even drank! I gave up. He is not worth my time and effort. They deserve each other. YOU CAN'T ALTER ANOTHER PERSON'S TRAJECTORY---they have free will.