OMG...if I hear this one more time, I will poke my eyes out. You know I have been going through this as well since last summer, and it's not going away. In little spurts here and there, it eases up. Then, WHAM..it smacks me in the head again. I don't expect anyone else to fix us but WTF? I am 68 and never felt so crappy in my life! I am no help, Tai. I'm just a miserable comforter. I have already told you what I think some of the problem is for you. And, again, from the outside, looking in a fix for you is easy to me. Just like the fix for me is easy to do according to my friends, family, counselors, and pastors. Why do our brains not compute this? Stay in touch and stay alive. We are not that desperate.