One Guy Keeps Coming to the Emergency Room With a Lightbulb in His Rectum

Adventures of an emergency room nurse

Klara Jane Holloway

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Photo by Martin Grandchamp on Unsplash

What?

Ouch!

“Tony”, Dr. Bungard asks, “who is putting these lightbulbs in your rectum?”

“Me, myself, and I”, Tony replied with a smile.

Tonight was the third time in a month Tony came to the ER to have a lightbulb removed from his rectum. That is not a procedure that can be done in the ER. It has to be removed in a surgical setting in case the lightbulb breaks.

Tony is not in pain right now. He obviously is not bothered by the insertion process either. He says he gets a tad uncomfortable when he needs to move his bowels. It might go in easy but he cannot remove it no matter what he tries. He has yet to figure this out.

Tony seems to get great satisfaction from inserting lightbulbs into his bum. He walks around a few days with it in there. So far, miraculously, none have broken inside him, but it’s pretty dangerous. A piece of sharp glass in the intestine is not encouraged. Tony does not care. We tell him he could die.

This is not an uncommon event in the ER. Objects often found in rectums are beer bottles, pickle and peanut butter jars, matchbox cars, cue balls, a closed pocket knife, medicine bottles, cell phones and keys.

Totally understandable is the insertion of a battery-operated vibrator, usually in the on position.

Many of these items are found by accident after an x-ray for a different ailment.

Beware. Just looking at this picture is painful.

https://images.app.goo.gl/VXsqqr9hEPh5E2f87

Unfortunately, although objects might be put into the rectum with ease, they are quite a challenge to remove. The anal sphincter is not designed to allow hard, jagged, foreign objects to get out. Painful muscle spasms and internal bleeding can occur. And some severe constipation issues.

Per Dan Robitzski in Inverse Magazine (May 26, 2017): There are various reasons why people insert things in their rectums. According to the…

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Klara Jane Holloway

I write about my experiences in life. Some mundane, some sad, some funny, and hopefully none boring!