Thank you, Maureen. Only once in my life did I have a plan to take my own life, and it was detailed and a good plan. No one would find me for several days. I eventually told my husband about it, and he reassured me I would be OK and he would be there for me. Then, he goes off into alcoholism. But 20 years later! I bet he doesn't even think of the desperation I had and why I divorced him for his drinking issues. Addicts are selfish through and through, and I am tired of saying they are sick and forgiving endlessly while the other kids and I get cheated. The money I spent on my oldest daughter could have been a down payment on a house for my son and his wife, who is struggling but would like to have one child. They need a home to raise that child in. I get so mad at myself for not having the money to help them get a house, but I came up with the money to do countless things for that addicted daughter. What a two-faced I am. You see, if I die, all my kids will get at least $100,000 each (not the addicted daughter. That goes to her kids). So I can help my other kids better dead than alive. I am still young and could use up all that money to get me through retirement. It's not an insurance policy that may not pay out. This is cash in an IRA. You see, this is a dilemma for me. Live life with 3 of my children feeling shortchanged and maybe be unkind to me or die and secure them a better future. What would you choose?