That daughter (I have 3) has had a drug problem off and on for 27 years so I am well acquainted with Al Anon. Plus my ex was an alcoholic. I've found groups, then someone takes over and makes it their personal dumping ground, and I leave. I'm looking for one that has a lead like AA meetings so no one person can selfishly command the meeting for themselves. Also, I've always gone to all-female groups but I'm going to start attending a co-ed one when I move. I think that may help.
As for my grandchildren....I've suggested Alateen but unfortunately, they have grown up with this mother so they think it's just normal. You know those family and people you know that lie, embellish stories, swear inappropriately and/or focus all conversations on themselves......BUT everyone says, "Oh, that's just how Jon is". Or, "we are just used to how Jane lies". This is a mentality that sucks. And it keeps people from healing....IMO.