This is where my parents were very successful and my husband and I were not. But we didn't argue about the difference in parenting. I jjust had to accept it. I had 3 kids when he married me so he was just used to standing back since my girls did not want him to be their "dad". When we had our son he did the same. I told him with this one it's me and him so step up your game! But, he never did and I was always the "drill Sargent" right up to telling my son to move out if he couldn't abide by my rules while his father stood there and said nothing. Grrrr. UNITED FRONT at all costs (not abusive, of course) tells the child he can't win by going to the other parent or playing them against each other. In the end the child wins from the consistency.