This is wise. This year was the first Xmas in 37 years my ex did not celebrate with all of us (he's in jail but would not have been invited anyway) and the first for all the grown kids without him. Also the first xmas for all he grandkids without him AND I had to tell them where he was and why. We've been divorced for six years, but I always included him; he wanted to be with us. So this year I let it bother me...he always did the lights on the tree. Another guy volunteered, and I was thrilled to get his help. And I really like him, too. Maybe he will do it next year too! Things are looking up.