When I first met him, he asked me what I was looking for. I told him I did not want to just be loved; I wanted to love much in return. Until I met him, I had never really been in love, but several men had loved me. So, yes, it's painful, and I will admit I loved him more than any other man, but the reality is he has changed for the worse. It does keep me from really loving another man, though. I am my own worst enemy.