Why Dating Widowers on Was a Waste of My Valuable Time

Most of them are not looking for romance

Klara Jane Holloway
7 min readAug 5, 2022
A casket covered in flowers
Photo by Strauss Western on Unsplash

Online dating takes a brave soul.

This past year I had several poor experiences with widowers.

A widower from a close-by city messaged me on He sounded great in his profile, so we met for lunch.

It had only been seven months since his wife died.

I thought that was not long enough to grieve, and I told him this.

Good impression #1

He assured me he was ready to commit to another relationship. He showed up with a bottle of wine and flowers.

My #1 dealbreaker is smoking, and he promised he didn’t.

Good impression #2

We planned dinner for a second date. Even though we lived 45 minutes apart, he insisted on always picking me up.

And I hate to drive.

Good impression #3

It was close to Christmas, so he brought me a live 3' tall potted pine tree and three pies from a famous bakery.

He brought me a gift on every date.

He sent me three dozen (THREE DOZEN!) red roses, a teddy bear, and chocolates for Christmas.

He bought me a Sonos sound system for my house.

I like gifts.

Good Impression #4

He was great at making plans for dates, which is not my forte, so it was wonderful.

He arranged to attend concerts and theatre events.

I wanted to see Harry Connick, Jr., and he took me to his Christmas show.

He asked me about my favorite Caribbean Island, and when I said Aruba, he wanted to buy two tickets for me to take anyone I wanted as a birthday gift. (I’m sure he figured I would pick him).
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We went to his gorgeous home. It sat on a hillside with a creek and wildlife in the backyard. There was…



Klara Jane Holloway

I write about my experiences in life. Some mundane, some sad, some funny, and hopefully none boring!