Women need to step up, too. We need to fine-tune our ideas of success, drive, and emotional intelligence so that we see a man on the whole spectrum. A man with a college degree who is not interested in accruing millions of dollars but loves theatre and is an actor in local productions or beyond. The man who runs a farm and works hard to raise grass-fed cattle and free-range chickens and grows his vegetables—the man who leads his son's horse-loving 4H group. There is the man who may only have graduated from high school but can remodel an entire home, electrical, plumbing, and all. These are good men. Intelligent men. The men with extensive degrees and worldly ambitions are wonderful, too. We can't judge a man's integrity, honesty, and willingness to compromise in life for the good of a relationship, partner, and family by the initials behind his name. I have been with "intelligent, successful men who only want to talk about themselves. Selfish and greedy. We all know what we want in a partner, and one who is interested in our world, not just his, is usually a blessing. So, after all this, I am saying that the men who are not complacent and will be wonderful partners do not all fit in the same mold. Look closely. I believe men have been better at this than women. They can see a whole woman regardless of what she appears on paper. They are looking for other attributes that are often not learned in higher education but are extremely important in life: honesty, kindness, empathy, and so much more.

Please forgive this long comment!