Wow, thanks, Carolyne. It feels good hearing you say that. When, in my guilty state, I accepted a lot of blame, he ran with it and made me out to be the bad guy. When he was the one abandoning our marriage to the bottle, disappearing for days at a time, pulling very embarrassing antics right and left, and leaving me to wonder, WTF??? So often I wonder why I even married him he was so far below my league (not bragging just saying I had all the money and assets and he didn't even have a car!). And I dragged my 3 little girls into that life, too. We made it a good life but it was rough at first. I think he was the man he is now all along and put on a charade to fit into my family. I dodged a grenade, not just a bullet.