You do the best you can. My neighbor who lost her husband last July still tells me the same story every time I go over there. And I am happy to just listen. I can’t imagine her position but I know I’d be terribly sad. When my ex-husband died, the father of three of my daughters, people couldn’t understand why I felt bad. We’d been divorced for almost 30 years. But we were friends. We had three children together! Nowadays, I ask people if they’re divorced, if I’m going to mention it, do you get along with your husband. It used to be you had to hate each other.