You have indeed been stabbed in the back and that is a sick, nauseating feeling when it is done by someone you thought loved you so dearly. I would get hateful comments if anyone in my family knew me on Medium. I keep it a tight secret. Interestingly, my ex knew it all and could be reading everything I wrote about him. Maybe he has chosen not to comment. Or, I hope, his alcohol brain is so mushed he can't remember any of it. Either way, although I don't see him as BPD, he is a black-and-white thinker, too. He must either love or hate me, but there is no in-between. It's torture. When I love, I love forever even if I have to back off. I'm so sorry for all you have been through. I am just catching up on my reading after a hiatus from Medium.